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Life of Pi

It has been said that without failure, there is no growth.

I can say that with all honesty there is some merit to that claim and there are moments from the past few months of my life that are completely unexplained; falling directly under the category of personal failure and growth.

I have given the past three years of my life, the past three years of my time, money, energy, love, dedication, emotional support, failing health, and whatever else, to be thrown into a forced position to fit a mold that I tried desperately to escape since Jr. High and High School.

Popularity.

Unfortunately the career path that I had worked so diligently to pursue since 2011 had me as a "perpetually moving target swayed by the winds of polar politics" (Stowe 2019).

In that, the power and influence were not judged by good work ethic and genuine action put forth to create improved results, but by "how well I played in the sand box with others" (Ellis 2019).

The past three years (career wise) has been like a bad episode of The Good, The Bad, and The Very, Very Ugly. 

Now my life has wandered down a different path.

Up and around this new path, I am learning algebra.
I have been afraid of mathematics since those days of desperation and bad cologne.
Days of gym shorts and big hair.
Days of pom poms, and well, you get the idea.
See above.

I was so afraid of algebra that I used every excuse in the world to avoid it.
I even went as far as going through the necessary steps of a doctor prescribed "diagnoses" of a math disability called dyscalculia.

That disability was the only thing that helped me escape the required portion of my undergraduate degree.

Imagine that.

The reason I have been forced to take this algebra class is to pass a required political hoop.

Ahem, I mean exam.
Fulfilling obligations (hoops) that coexisted in my career choice that I am not quite sure I want to keep jumping through.

Fortunately, since taking this algebra class, I feel like a freaking confident bad a$$ mother fu@*er!

If I were in a gang, the symbol of pi would my gang sign.
My fingers would be all mangled and shit.
But I would be cool.

In fact, successfully completing algebraic problems that I have been dodging since middle school, has lifted my spirits and given me more confidence than learning how to fly.

It even feels more amazing than the first time I landed a glider, unassisted.

Look ma! No hands!

With that failure came the result of tackling that deep seeded and rooted fear of algebra.

Facing algebra has been a monumental milestone.

I am even considering completing my high school diploma although I am in my first semester of a Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership.

If I can be brutally honest... I am unsure of the result of that pathway, too. 

But hey, "there are no guarantees in anything" (Reynolds 2019).

Despite the past three years (this time rather than putting it out there for the Universe to make the decision for me) I am going to grab the Universe by its hand, and ask it to join me.

Let's do this together, failure or not.

Hey Pi, put that algebraic dollar in your pocket!








Comments

  1. Congrats on finally facing your math fears. I really liked math in high school. Now I use a calculator most of the time. Ah well, the results of too much miss spent youth and time catching up to me.

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