The Girlfriends' Guide to Forty

Intention: noun A thing intended; an aim or plan. Like anything in life, we must set intentions. We set intentions not to sleep in and get up early enough for work. We set intentions to remind ourselves to set the crock-pot on low, so we don't burn dinner. We also set intentions for our self for other things like our health, to take our vitamins and do some routine yoga. Everything in our life is revolved around the intention we put toward it. Today, my intention was to leave the house. I am a teacher by trade, and this year I haven't taken, or been offered a contract. Like many things in life, things we plan just don't go as expected. Having a conversation with a new friend yesterday solidified that. Both of us are newly graduated from Masters programs in our forties and both of us admittedly feel completely lost in our journey's. Although she is a former Yale student, and a current Berkley graduate, the pressure is on to get hired at a top architecture firm

The thing about dating in your 40's is that the single people there are to choose from are relationship rejects in one form or another. Yourself included. Why is it such an unrelenting struggle when engaging in the formalities of love?  Don't get me wrong, I am sure there are some prime men and women out there that are decent people, hold down jobs and drive nice cars that make them appear somewhat respectable. But outside of all of those things, there is a reason why they are still single. Have you heard of those stories where the couple brags about sleeping together on their first date and end up getting married anyway? Well, that doesn't really happen and if it does, he's either knocked you up or had a temporary loss of sanity. Then you have the people who are not ready to grow up, starting off super attractive because they are smart and witty and make you laugh. Then when you even show the slightest hint that yeah, you could give them a chance, they either

Imagine that you saved for a year to take that trip to somewhere tropical where the beaches are sandy white and the water is a clear crystal blue. You've prepared yourself mentally and physically by taking swimming lessons and diving lessons and anything you can think of knowing that you will be spending time in the sea. You get there, everything is perfect. You notice that the tide is stronger than you expected. There's seaweed in the water. The beach is swarming with bodies. You. You are there. What are you waiting for? You run out into the sea, feeling that inner small child inside you squeal with delight. You notice the brilliant colors of the sky, and how they are swirling with orange, blue, and white. You think to yourself in that moment that noting else could be more perfect than this, then all of the sudden, a very large wave engulfs you. It pulls you under. You can't grab your bearings, you're unsure which way is up or which is down. In that momen