Skip to main content

Posts

My journey is an open book, day one.

I started out cleaning all morning after lying around in bed exhausted from the two-day drive.  I didn’t want to do anything.  I finally decided to have a couple of cups of coffee, talked to my very pregnant daughter for over an hour, and discussed with her how I put it out into the Universe that I would like my boyfriend to come to visit me for the last week that I am here and share the responsibilities of that long and grueling drive home with me.  I doubt that will happen considering that he has 2 trips already in the works for the next few weeks.  My daughter is an old soul, and she somehow has this innate and spiritual ability to make things at the flick of a decision abundantly flow her way.  It was worth the try.  I finally mustered up the energy to take a hot bath and start cleaning.  There is an odd thing about homes that are not lived in…  They start to accumulate a strange smell as if the home knows that no one is around to take care of it. Although the remnants of life via
Recent posts

The boyfriend dilemma

 Why is it that when we imagine our perfect partner that when we finally meet them, it turns out that we are not the perfect partner for them - at all.  When do we know that delicate balance when it comes to matters of the heart and attracting the relationship that we desire?  I met my friend Moses almost a decade ago on one of those cheesy dating apps that was cool hip and fun at the time, but later discovered it was really just another way for men to get laid.  Moses is 5 years older than I am, fit and athletic, and likes to do the things that I like to do as far as physical activities. He is also incredibly sexy and very attractive. The downside about Moses is that he is seemingly a tortured soul, just like I am.  A free spirited black sheep that vies for attention because like most of us emotionally unavailable adults, was neglected as a child.   But that is the one thing that I love the most about him... Moses is wild spirit that can't be tamed.  Just. Like. Me.  Moses and I s

Life of Pi

It has been said that without failure, there is no growth. I can say that with all honesty there is some merit to that claim and there are moments from the past few months of my life that are completely unexplained; falling directly under the category of personal failure and growth. I have given the past three years of my life, the past three years of my time, money, energy, love, dedication, emotional support, failing health, and whatever else, to be thrown into a forced position to fit a mold that I tried desperately to escape since Jr. High and High School. Popularity. Unfortunately the career path that I had worked so diligently to pursue since 2011 had me as a "perpetually moving target swayed by the winds of polar politics" (Stowe 2019). In that, the power and influence were not judged by good work ethic and genuine action put forth to create improved results, but by "how well I played in the sand box with others" (Ellis 2019). The past three years

GFGF: Reading “To Love and Let Go” - Rachel Brathen

A couple of years ago when I started my Instgram account I typed in the word, "yoga" and the person who popped up was Rachel Brathen, aka Yoga_Girl. Of course the first thing I noticed were all the amazing pictures of her doing yoga in Aruba with deep blue skies, clear blue water, and that incredible white sandy beach.   I can assume that I am not the only human who day dreams any chance they can get of experiencing a life outside of their own, even if simply visually escaping for a swipe or two.   I clicked follow.  Then something interesting happened.  I started to like her.  I liked her views, her methodologies regarding yoga and the practice of.  I liked that she seemed down to earth and genuine.  Plus she said the word fuck . Like, a lot.  It was her boldness and her ability to say what she wanted to say - say it - then accept and deal with the consequences - that sold me on the idea that I wanted to go to Aruba and practice at Island Yoga

TGFG: The Pelican Man

A few years ago I was going through a really dark time in my life. I had just gotten married to the worst possible choice for a husband, and some really unfortunate things happened. Maybe I will write about those later. I will just say that it was one of the lowest points in my life. It was October, around my birthday and he was no longer living in the house. He was living with his paralegal and wife, since the day after we returned home from our honeymoon. I remember that I was so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed and I think I must have slept for a week straight. My kids were staying with their grandma, except my youngest. He was about seven or eight, and to this day that kid has rarely left my side. He called his grandmother (his dad's mom) and said that he couldn't get mom to wake up. I was in a state of unconsciousness. He was scared, because here was his mom who is supposed to be taking care of him, laid up in bed, sleeping for what seemed to be days on

GGTF: The Sweat Lodge Experience.

Lately I have been feeling like I am in need of a spiritual and physical cleansing. I have been a member of MeetUp for quite sometime because it's a great way to discover things to do in your community with other like minded individuals; so when I came across the Fall Equinox Sweat Lodge Ceremony, I felt it could be a great place to start. If you have never been to a sweat lodge, basically it's a man-made hut that is oblong or dome shaped made completely out of natural materials. The ceremonies performed within the structure are usually done as a purification or detoxification via sweating in a temperature as hot if not hotter than a sauna. From the construction of the lodge to the prayers offered, the lodge's purpose is to connect deeply to oneself through the spiritual symbolism that represents the womb of the earth. Its intent is to purify those within it by sweat and prayers of gratitude. Some put a lot of stock into the sweat lodge experience going as far as ma